Thursday, July 28, 2016

As I lay in bed, the night before my girl turns one, I'm exhausted. I'm fighting to stay awake to type these thoughts and my body is screaming at me to sleep. But nostalgia wins! It's is a powerful thing, isn't it? A whole year. My baby isn't considered a baby anymore, and that means my first baby is that much bigger too. Ive been thinking about the days leading up to her birth, and how they were filled with the weirdest, most jumbled up emotions. How every time I looked at Oscar my heart would freeze, knowing that he wouldn't be only baby much longer. Wondering how he'd adjust, how we'd all adjust to the craziness of having a newborn and getting to know this new little person in or family, while at the same time being out of my mind excited to meet this this little girl growing inside me. I cried. A lot.

The morning of her birth, as I changed into the hospital gown, Oscar's pacifier fell from my shirt where I always conveniently stored it. I cried again. 
That image of looking down at that paci on the floor is something I wont forget. 
That was moments before I became a Mama, again.

My heart wrapped around her the second she took a breath. 
Her little face; how she calmed once she was placed on my chest....She was perfect.
My love had been waiting for her. 
I now had three great loves of my life.

And now a year later, I may be more tired, and days may last a little longer, but I can't imagine life without this little peanut.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Can't stop, won't stop.

Can't stop, won't stop.