Friday, August 24, 2012

Cars That Go Boom: Reflections

The day after: Sleepy, Sore and Crazy Haired

When you get pregnant, you're put in this funny predicament. You're excited, anxious and thrown into a new type of responsibility and mindset. My husband and I try to stay as calm as possible throughout this whole pregnancy....but then you get a wild card. 

I was rear ended while driving yesterday afternoon, then bumped into the car in front of me.

I'm ok, baby is ok...but it was scary as hell. The impact was a pretty good one, I went forward then back in my seat pretty far, but definitely not horrible (my body didn't hit anything but the seatbelt and the seat). My phone that was in the pocket on the door flipped out, hit the dash and flew under my seat though, which was pretty confusing to me at the time, ha. The driver in front and in back were ok (mostly just looked really freaked out that I'm pregnant) and only my car and the car that rear ended me had a little damage, not much though.

I was feeling more tightening in my belly than normal afterwards, so with our midwife's advice, we headed to L&D triage and they monitored me and the little dood for a couple hours, coming up with good results and good news. I walked away with back and neck soreness and likely some pulled round ligaments, but that's it! :) I feel crazy lucky for a number of reasons...of course my brain came up with all sorts of horrible alternatives. Good thing my little guy (and my uterus for that matter) is tough!

So with all of this "excitement" I got really philosophical and reflective. Just a few nights before, I was freaking out to Joey that we've reached a point in the pregnancy where he could survive and that early labor is highly unlikely but could happen and that we needed to be prepared...blah blah blah. See, I'm the type of person that likes know the possibilities before hand, to theoretically make things a little less jolting in the future. (I've always been interested in medicine, and find comfort in more information) My husband? Not so much. He doesn't want to know what can go wrong, because it'll just make him worry more. We're just different in that way, and that's fine. What's ironic is this car accident, proved that both of our ways of coping are reasonable.

When we walked into the hospital, I had no idea where to go, I didn't know where to tell Joey to find me after parking the car, and I didn't have an answer when the triage receptionist asked me which 'clinic' I was going to. It would've been helpful to have had the hospital tour before this event, and it would've been more settling (for me) to know the most common possible outcomes. But....they don't exactly have a chapter in any pregnancy book titled, "How f***ing scary it can be when you're 25 weeks pregnant and in a car accident; What can happen and how you might feel". I recognize and respect (even before this) that you cant be prepared for everything. And this just makes this fact, that much clearer.

I always want to walk away from anything remotely unsettling with some good thoughts and perspective. So I've got...
  • Cars are really scary. They're big, can be dangerous and can cause lots of harm. But, I cant stop driving or riding in cars. Because that would be ridiculous. Fear based avoidance=not cool. And really, It's not like I'm crazy traumatized from this. Just shaken up. 
  • Being pregnant, and I can already see that having a baby, drastically effects your mental processing. I've had multiple ER trips where I've been embarrassed, or feel nervous that I'm there for nothing or that I'm wasting people's time (even though those trips saved my life or saved a limb from being much more injured). With this? I had no hesitations especially once my midwife said to go get checked out. And I have thought way harder about this accident than I would have if I didn't have a little person growing inside me.
  • You can't plan, expect, prepare or educate yourself on everything...but it is ok if you find comfort in knowing more. Because I knew some basics of what could happen, I knew what the doctor was saying when he described what they'd worry could happen, or why I'd have to look for certain symptoms and that kept me calm. So in short, Joey and I are a good match to even each other out on lots of things, this being one of them :)
  • Being in that triage room and knowing that we'd be back in 2-3 months with an entirely different feeling and outcome was crazy! It's going to go by fast!
  • I'm super happy with our baby and mama care decisions. We had great nurses, great input from our midwife group and an awesome resident doctor that checked in on us. He was kind of spazzy but funny and thorough. 
  • Lastly, I'm pretty convinced the song "The Cars That Go Boom by late 80's rap duo L'trimm is cursed. The last car accident I was in was 7 or 8 years ago. I was a passenger in the back seat while this song was playing and I got whiplash. Yesterday, I was jamming out to this song while getting ready to leave the house. Coincidence? (Probably, but I'm gonna go with...)
    I think not!
So, thank you to my baby for hanging tight, thank you to my love for being by my side whenever I need you, thank you to my mama for being a good listener, thanks to my daddy for making me giggle, thanks to Nana, Lisa and Elle for their concern and thoughts, and thank you universe for not letting yesterday turn out differently.

Therapy post. Sappy maybe, but I'm pregnant. So deal.

EDIT: Ooo, I almost forgot, a special thanks to Junior (the owner of our little mini-mart on the corner) who knew I was kind of down (right after it happened) and told me a joke involving an expressway toll and Viagra. I needed that! :)

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